“My parents used to take us to campsites in France and Italy”
Not proper hardcore camping - camping where the tent is already put up for you. I have a lot of memories of it taking ages to find the place. It was before sat-navs, so my parents would have huge maps. You wouldn’t call it a paradise holiday, not like here. It was more like a slight step up from everyday life.
“My first holiday without my parents was on a canal boat”
When I was 18, some friends and I went on a canal boat trip around Greater Manchester. It felt like the most rock and roll thing anyone had ever done – cooking spaghetti bolognese for ourselves and stopping off at pubs. We were basically like Led Zeppelin.
“My holiday hell is a trip which is more hassle than being at home”
That’s why I don’t really like camping. I’ve got friends who will load everyone in a campervan, and off they go to Wales, but I can’t be dealing with that because I do enough stuff every day as it is.
“If I could holiday with anyone in the world, dead or alive, I’d go with alive”
When you think about the ideal holiday companion, you think of all sorts of famous people, but actually how fun would that be? I’d hate to choose someone like Barack Obama but then find we don’t have much in common. So I’d go with my brother… Feels a bit of a waste when I could have said Jennifer Aniston.
“I try to make the build-up to a holiday stress-free”
I’ve been on family holidays where it’s been days of running around beforehand. I prefer to take a casual attitude. I don’t pack very much and always assume I can get stuff there, sometimes with disastrous consequences. But I do get to the airport early – a legacy of my parents. Even when we’d take the ferry to France, we’d get to the port six or seven hours early, even though we’d probably be able to swim after it if we missed it.
“Zoe and I currently aren’t speaking”
Zoe thinks we should be doing lots of stuff. She wants to go in the sea, all this business. So it’s quite full on. My idea of a holiday is not doing too much. That’s caused a bit of friction. We’ve had to eat in separate restaurants.
“It took me about an hour to get on a Lilo”
But, once I was on, I really enjoyed it. The sunshine has been a major highlight. You don’t get weather like this at home. I do love a buffet, too, and trying to work out how many times you can go up before they start saying “I know this is All Inclusive, but don’t take the mickey”.
“Name badges should be compulsory in everyday life”
The staff are all lovely here at the TUI SENSATORI Resort Azul Jamaica. Sometimes you can tell people are faking it, but not here. I like how everyone wears a name badge. It would be nice if people wore a name badge in everyday life, too. I’m getting older and it’s a lot to remember.
“Some of my best experiences have been in Australia”
The crowds are great there. I’ve also been lucky enough to perform in places like Hong Kong, I’m going to Denmark next month and I was in Bermuda recently for a comedy festival. Sometimes learning a local crowd takes a bit of time, but I try to always seize opportunities to travel.
“My most memorable holiday was in Wales when I was 10”
Classic family holiday. It hammered down with rain. We went on a daytrip to Aberystwyth to go on this steam train, but after travelling for hours to get there, we found out it wasn’t running. Then when we got back, we were locked out of our cottage, so my dad had to break in through a skylight.
You can watch Mark and Zoe complete tonnes of challenges on our Inflight Entertainment channels on any Dreamliner plane from May onwards. You might also want to read about this hotel’s inflatables sanctuary (Mark could definitely get some more Lilo-mounting practice in here), as well as what the food’s like in Jamaica.
Author: Sarah Robinson
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